Down By The River
So recently I have continued to notice that I don’t know “jack squat” about anything. I might as well be living “in a van down by the river!” While the baseball seems to be coming relatively easy, the clubhouse ribbing seems to get even tougher. Lately, the border war between AJ and I has become relatively heated. I have hit two homeruns this spring training and the next day is always a rough one. AJ claims that my bag is on his side of the “border”. I walk in and he asks why I placed my bag inside of his locker. He insists that I purposely threw my bag in his locker to mock him. I think we all know that is the last thing I want.
It seems like everything I do is put under the microscope. But I guess that’s ok because it keeps me on my toes. The other day was Harold Baines’ birthday. I actually had the day off that day but as soon as I got to the field, AJ informed me I would be presenting the cake to Harold. So in the bottom of the first I came out of the bathroom with the cake and presented it to Harold. Harold almost dropped the cake which would have been awesome. I was kind of hoping he would just throw the cake on me because I deserved it! But that would have been detrimental to the stomachs of our training staff who devoured the whole cake once it was safely back in the dugout.
To take a quote from Matt Foley:
“You kids are probably saying to yourselves, hey I’m going to go out and grab the world by the tail and wrap it around and pull it down and put it in my pocket. Well I’m here to tell you, your probably going to find out as you go out there…that your probably not going to amount to jack squat!”
Well to be honest, the last couple weeks have made me feel that way. I’m pretty depressed.
“A funny thing to do is, if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a
poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten feet
and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him
about who’s going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That’s why
it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.”